Landlord had Sex with My 12yr old Daughter. I am Told there is Nothing I Can Do.
During my time as an abused and very suffering ill tenant and disabled person, totally mentally ill with all the threats, distress and disrepair I met many others in similar abusive and horrific conditions without rights or access to justice. Their situation reduced to a mental health issue or situation for social services when it was clearly criminal
I was overwhelmed with my own incapacity and vicious circumstances in which we are living and could not do anything about the horror in my own life or anybody elses. Also, tenants and their children were told all their complaints and concerns could lead them to being evicted and blacklisted as bad tenants, it would only make their position worse and their children taken into care if the disrepair was so bad or the abuse so bad.
Nobody picked up the illegal and abusive aspect of it and helped to take it forward in a legal case, not even a collective action if many tenants under same landlord. The Police, Mental Health Team, Social Services or a Campaign Organisation should have done this, instead they did not. Instead colluded with that tenants had no rights and landlords can do what they want.
All I can do is record my own story as examplary witness and those of others to show how bad it can get and is.
And so now to this witness given to me by someone I knew and worked with as a voluntary advisor at Citizens Advice Bureau. Both seeking to find out how to support our rights and secure the rights of others. By working in advocacy, advice and rights organisations you soon find out what little rights you have and how difficult and impossible it is to secure them without making your position worse. As a single mother living in private rented accomodation she found she could not secure her own rights or the safety of her daughter.
Sue (Not her real name) had been telling me in passing conversations in the street or over cups of coffee in coffee shops how her landlord was a bit of a Lech and let himself into her flat and was constantly coming on to her and sexually harassing her, asking for sexual favours. Of course her vulnerability of tenancy always came up as a bargaining chip and how much he could help her with the repairs she needed doing and even knock something off the rent.
He was a Creep and Creeped Her Out. She avoided going home and stayed out and tried to not be on her own with him. Coming back only when her daughter had returned from school. Thinking there was another person there and he would not dare do anything while her child was there and another witness.
Like many single females she made the rounds of visiting others or having others visit her to avoid the vulnerability of “Single Woman ” syndrome. This is where single women either young independent women, single mothers, divorced, widows even elderly are seen as easy available legitimate sexual targets. If a woman does not belong to anyone, then she is everyones.
Sorry, but my door has been banged on by lone men – often with wives, homes, girlfriends and families- in the late and early hours offering or demanding their sexual services as I am a lone woman on my own and it is obvious I am in “need.” No comprehension that I don’t and am “unnatural” not to be desperately “up for it.” My own grandmother after being widowed after 50 years of marriage was quikly befriended by an elderly gentleman, she thought for equal companionship. Until he lept on her and tried to attack her just weeks after her death of her husband – as that is what she is there for and free now widowed, in her 70s. Many women share these experiences with other women but not with other members of family or others because of shame, victim blame and societal attitudes. Which are then repeated in social services, mental health and counselling support
Asked for it, Deserved it, Brought it on herself, Does not matter as she is nothing.
Yes, this attitude persists, and is deeply ingrained and hardwired into the psychi of our culture. You can change laws, bring in and declare a new non-sexist, non-racist, non-anti-gay, non-anti-disabled egalitarian culture and still not change human nature and its baseness and its vileness. And this is at all levels. Many are just playing the game and saying and agreeing with what is “in” and acceptable. Underneath they have the base instincts of “Fight Club” and the base instincts of the thug, bully, malicious and opportunist and sexual abuser. And you will only find this when you are on your own with them or when they are accompanied with their tag team of supporters.
We never get out of the playground, and that is where we will always be.
Although under stress and having no rights Sue thought she was managing it. Keeping herself and her daughter safe, precariously avoiding eviction being on the streets and her daughter taken into care.
However, all that changed when her daughter came to her and told her the landlord had been having sex with her. She was too ashamed and frightened to come to her mother before. The landlord like a true sexual predator and manipulator had told her if she did not he would make up lies about her mother and get her taken into care, it was dependent on her that he did not evict them and make them homeless. Again if she and her mother were homeless she would be taken into care. Either way she would never see her mother again, and it would be all her fault for not having sex with him.
This had been going on for months behind Sue’s back. The landlord had bern letting himself in while Sue was not there. Sue had never thought he would do this or do this to her child. Her daughter was frightened and tearful believing what the landlord said that her mother would hate her, reject her and not believe her. She was only 12 years old.
Sue immediately called the police. But imagine her surprise when told it was a Landlord and Tenant matter, it was a civil matter, not a police matter or criminal offence. If she had a problem with the landlord having sex with her daughter she would have to take a private prosecution. It was a Landlord and Tenant issue, as that was the relationship.
I have written and explained this before for all those who believe we live in a Green and Pleasant Land of Human Rights, Fairness and Justice.
When Tony Blair and New Labour brought in a “Target Culture” for Health and Police services the NHS and Police then had to turn all their minds, resources, manpower and effort to fulfilling and chasing these targets rather than pursuing and ensuring patient care, the rights and safety of the public or upholding the Law. It was the numbers that mattered or they would be penalised.
Therefore, hospitals would avoid admissions, discharge patients early as long as nothing happened on their premises and watch they were exempt and numbers went down and targets met.
The police do not have the time or numbers to catch every criminal and respond to every complaint and incident. People need to get behind and understand the real logistics of this. Yet the police are liable and can lose their job if something goes wrong. And the public and courts and legal eagles are only too swift to apportion blame and point the finger to the attending officer.
The one who does the work and has to deal with the mess and distress is the one who is blamed by those who push the paper.
Therefore, in order to meet targets, cut down workload, reduce numbers and avoid blame legal advisors advised the police the way to do this was to turn as many criminal offences into civil offences as they could.
The way to do this was not to categorise according to the nature of the offence, but according to the social status of the victim and the relationship between victim and offender.
People may not know this but all diversity discrimination and harassment acts comes under “civil offence.” Therefore, all female, race, ethnic, culture, disability and gay hate victims can be moved to being victims of a civil offence not a criminal offence, and have to take their own case to court.
Also, if the relationship is a civil relationship – partner , neighbour, employer-employee, landlord-tenant relationship – then again the offence and complaint can be moved to being a civil offence and the victim again has to take their own case to court and find a lawyer willing to do so.
Since legal aid was taken off civil cases it is now impossible for anyone to take a complaint. So many offences and indeed crimes are without resolution or justice. And of course crime and the perpetrator continues.
It also helps enormously to the target and numbers game that once police have designated it a civil offence they do not have to respond, do not have to intervene and do not even have to write it down and record it. Job Done. Offence does not exist and numbers of complaints and response reduced. Targets met, but the true nature of the level of crime and numbers of victims is covered up.
Now you are all informed. The vast majority of crimes do not get to court victims get no justice and the crime and criminals continue and escalates. There is no stop to it. There is no deterent.
Criminal incidents are referred into mental health and social services where it is then redefined as a lifestyle choice problem or the person is now bi-polar or personality disorder not a traumatised victim of a crime who should have had justice instead.
Sue went to DWP and Housing to see if she could get help moving. However, they told her she was not deemed to be in housing crisis as she had accommodation and what had happened to her daughter was not considered sufficient reason. She had 4 walls and she was lucky and they would just have to put up with sexual harrassment and sexual abuse as the cost of being able to have a home. There was no sympathy just tacit dismissal and collusion from authorities.
I have my own experiences of going to authorities in criminal, abusive and crisis situations and can verify this is what happens.
Her daughter was getting very distressed. Social Services were brought in. Social Services said if her daughter had a problem having sex with her landlord (She was underage, 12, and made to have sex under duress) and if it was upsetting her then she could always be taken into care. The threat that the landlord terrorised her with, that she would taken into care away from her mother was the only remedy the authorities and social services would offer. Nobody took on the offence and criminality of the issue, nobody offered to take it forward as a case on their behalf. Mother and daughter were left with retaliatory eviction, homelessness and being separated with traumatised daughter taken into care.
That is it. That is the nightmare and reality we live. All rosecoloured shades must be ripped from our eyes and our comforting cloak of dumbed down apathy removed.
I could do nothing. I was in severe trauma and mentally ill myself, under fear and stress with no relief. Normally I would take them in, offer a place of safety and support or come up with the goods to help them move. I could not as I was totally destroyed myself.
All I can do is tell it like I have told my story. Under threat and being told to shut up for showing how bad authorities are and the underside of our towns or I shall get arrested and banged away.
This how Bad it is the way we are living. In violence and escalating abuse and crime with no rights or access to protection or justice. Just move on, get over it, shit happens. This is life, we will help you to accept it. And that advice and view is from the psychiatric team and social services I have been referred to.
“We Are Not Here To Challenge or Change Anything. We Are Here to Help You Adjust to The Situation And Accept It.” “We Will Help You to LIVE WITH IT.”
I do not think we should accept it but fight again to live in a civilised society. No Acceptance and No Surrender to Abuse and Rot.
Aunty Admin
I HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR THIS WEBSITE. IT BEING TRUE, FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND IN THE PUBLIC INTERESTS OF HEALTH AND SAFETY IS NOT A DEFENCE – said first judge
IT CAN BE MADE MUCH WORSE FOR YOU – said second judge.
Legged It.
In Scotland. The Land of the Brave and Free. At least they have got their brains and a better justice system. And separate from English Law so they would have to apply to indict me.
Having sex with a 12 year old is statutory rape. It is a criminal offense…NOT civil.
This is what happens. Many criminal offences are turned into being categorised as civil by victims status or relation between victim and offender. That is why when you get serious offences by vulnerable people, disabled, mental health sufferers and learning needs by neighbours and the behaviour is clearly criminal as the victim comes under diversity discrimination and the relationship is “neighbour dispute” it is categorised under civil,
Then police have no duty to respond, do not have to act or intervene and do not even have to write it down, so it does not exist.
The abuse of tenants, women, children and vulnerable in private property has always happened and the offender has got away with it.
On another post, although I should make it a separate example a burly guy in his 50s, tough, boxer, fisherman and owned a fishing boat most of his life, told of how in 50s when he and his mum, as a single mum were targetted, and how under intimidation the landlord abused and sold his arse around when he was aged 7. Again even when known, nothing done. Its always been there. the majority of abuse and sexual abuse is not reported, that which is is not followed up and police will still get out of it.
Fawcett Society and other recognised organisations have done research on police and atttudes towards female and vulnerable victims remains the same. In fact, Sussex Police had highest incidence of harassment and abuse of female abuse victims whether domestic abuse or sex abuse.
I can only write about it, record it and give anonymity to sufferers and victims while showing the way it is.
Many are hidden cannot do anything, wont be followed through, will be discounted and dismissed as a life style choice and problem by social services and mental health be offered counselling and medication when it is a criminal offence and needs to be taken forward by police.
Then there is the whole legal police and court system, which is NOT THERE FOR YOU! but to bring income and revenue in for the Crown and extend litigation and proceedings so to bring in revenue to the legal professions.
I have worked in it, know how it is.
You will be shocked and horrified, but many are no longer surprised. It all needs changing.
Go Back to Common Law, which by the way most lawyers do not believe in or have never heard about, as in law school they are taught precedents, not Common Law.