Survival Strategy Personality
He may be bad at playing poker, as he is open and his emotions are poorly hidden. He confesses his own sins on an audio recording he is supposed to use to catch out me. He lies incredibly and obviously on submitted court statements. He causes and persuades others to do the same. He never checks,or thinks or thinks wilder around. He is open and giggly. He has shouted, screamed, cried out, turned away abruptly as if stung when I have said something.But I have noticed. He has jiggered on both legs in front of me, like a 4 year old trying to deny he has been in the biscuit barrel and cake box, while it is clear there is chocolate around his mouth and jammy dodger crumbs under his finger nails. He is silent and self controlled,So tightly, tightly self controlled. Too self controlled, like a man or boy in turmoil. On the outside calm, on the inside Hell. He thinks I do not notice and I have not seen this before, but I have. I am a woman and I have spent a long time with people and feelings. He is hesitant to hurt, but strikes out to protect. His handwriting “Strikes” and then Strokes in its first capital. A one who hits out, and then is sorry. He has jiggered in front of me in regard to my elderly neighbour saying “I Did Not Realise.” A man with a conscience, who cannot live with one. He squirms on something that he cannot get away from. A butterfly, a worm, a young child pierced with the jaggered shaft going through him, that he cannot get away from, but submit, and suffer, adapt and squirm. Submit to the one who pins him.
Has anyone else noticed how open Mr Hanlon is? How many times he has been taken and lost? How his workaholicism has never freed him or saved him. The reason he is in such a poor position that he has appeared “open” and “poor” to many others. Who have seen him, seen his brother and taken them.
Maybe he is Catholic, he has a fear and a feeling of responsibility to women, children and duty. And yet has a fear when he has failed it. He is passive and yet hurts. A Passive Aggressive. A crustacian within a shell. A molusc in a shell. Soft and afraid to come out,yet grows pincers and poison to keep people away. Someone who is afraid of moving unless he gets it wrong. And yet moves to punish if anyone asks him anything, or if you demand you are likely to GET IT!
He has great fears. Maybe he has lost a mother or someone who meant a great deal to him.
Maybe the going away to Woolverstone was too much, Strange place, the more I read. Corners set away from the others, and the poor inner city boys placed in Corners kept away from others. Other old boys write about how you were a strange species and how they wondered what went on over the lawns in that strange house. It was a mystery.
That is very strange for a school aimed to mix and help young boys from working class backgrounds and inner city London know how to mix and grow with others.
The set up of Woolverstone School was called a Posh Borstal. How cruel. And complaints that it cost more to send a boy to Woolverstone than a boy to Eaton.
It reminds me of the Reigus Poem. Picking out boys from the best. Deciding who has potential and who has not. Who is worth something, and who is not. So exclusive, So established, so cruel.What the hell did they expect from you? What the hell did you have to do to get out, get up and survive?
There is a personality characteristic disorder which is grown in boys boarding schools, It is called “Survival Strategist” personality.It is where, a boy placed in such a situation, with nothing around him but strangeness and pack of boys and demands develops a “survival strategy” personality, which is always on call and always alert. Can never never switch off.
